We had this writing exercise one day. One will start with a few sentences, the second will add anything he/she wants.. so on and so forth creating a crazy story in a funny-out-of-this-world way. It started with...
It was the eyes – your eyes that captured my attention. Like hot, intense burning orbs, they made me feel as if I was being absorbed into the depths of your soul. I couldn’t look away from those mesmerizing eyes. I knew I had found a prize and mustn’t lose sight of it. I reached out my hand and grabbed – nothing.
You are just a mirage — this I knew of long before this moment, but something inside me makes me, compels me, to believe that you are more than just an imaginary visitor in my prison cell. Something passionately primal . . .
I reach out again.
The flesh of my dirty, callused fingers feel a soft, flowing fabric; like a silk cape blowing in the wind. Strange, wind could never penetrate the granite walls of this blasted prison! My hands, the cursed instruments of a thousand unspeakable crimes, now lies engulfed in a heavenly state of caress.
I open my eyes.
Standing before me is that beautiful mirage again, clad in flowing silk, and nothing more — but this time, I could feel her physical presence. Her silken robe was that heavenly thing that touched my hand!
“Prysmos”, she said, the burning orbs of her head gradually dimming. “You know my name!?” I answered.
“Of course I know you’re name! Insolent swine!” said the goddess beauty.
“I have come to make you an offer”.
“Who are you?” I sheepishly ask.
“It matters not who I am; what matters is what I can do for you”, answered the mysterious beauty.
“What do you want?”, I asked again, my surprise now gone, inexplicably replaced with hope.
“I want you to give me a son”
“What?”
“You act surprised. Don’t be” said the woman. “You are a criminal, yes. But you are also a man of great strength and courage; a man who can tear a fellow man limb from limb. If the great Achilles fought you, you probably would’ve killed him.”
“But enough talk, let’s get our business started . . .” said the woman “My kingdom needs a strong heir”
Before I could say another word, the incredible beauty has shed her clothes and presented her naked body in front of me. I have made love to a thousand maidens but never have I seen a woman more beautiful than this woman in front of me.
She kneels toward me and softly says “Come now Prysmos . . . we’d make a lovely child”.
She kisses me, and I kissed her back. Her hand reached through my filthy loincloth and wrapped her fingers around my throbbing manhood. Gently, she stroked it.
Prysmos stops his mind from asking if this moment is real or just simply a dream that he always have the dream of being with someone close. He feels very excited and afraid what will happen if this moment will pass, he holds this woman’s body, kiss her like his queen. Surprised what made him deserve this unexpected prize.
Prysmos try to stretch the time longer and also thinking what this woman wants. Having facing the walls all these years and suddenly this imagination is in his hands to feel, He start to feel like a strong man, like a king but he must escape from this walls, he must take this woman.
Indulgence…passion….my mind drips desire…burning lines between the velvet scarring that ensues….blurring…the feeling kaleidoscopes …sensuality screams…no, it gropes…I am helpless…I neither speak nor bat an eyelash for fear of her eternal essence escaping the rapture of this very moment…my lips follow hers…tracing the outline of her movements with mine….running, overtired…this fleeting portrait of twisted devotion sets her heart aflutter...deeper…further…racing….those eyes….illuminating….captivating…orchestrating with surgical precision my yearning for the same...the vertex of pleasure… taken…given…riveting…I’ve now fallen victim to discourse…words fall short where feelings and emotions preside… hence, I’ve now lost myself in her…just her…only her…it was then that I understood…it was not her touch nor her smell that engrossed me…no…for I was drowning in the pools of lust and solitude that were her eyes.
“Tok! Tok! Tok!” a silent knock breaks down all the lustful.. captivating.. illuminating.. blurring.. burning.. orchestrating.. orgasmic.. feeling inside me. Those four granite walls seem to disappear and begin to have a life on its own. The place was not as dark, as cold, and gray as it used to be. It seems I’ve taken all the sorrows in this place and placed it somewhere else, the shed of afternoon sun lights a part of me and gave this captivating silhouette. Sitting, I was thinking how the thought of that goddess beauty has stained my innocence to a world of lust and passion.
“Tok! Tok! Tok!” again…. The deafening silence was shattered by a soft knock at the door and a silent whisper behind it…!@#%$%&$^*^&……again………..and again. I tried to summon all my strength to pull this weightless body of my bed to fulfill the question…who is it? Is it her? My goddess beauty for real…behind that door. I stood up… walked slowly towards the door taking each step with a question in my head. The next thing I knew, I was at the door. Standing. Waiting. Wondering. With a cheap smile on my face……..it seems all feeling have visited me this day……..this is it…….someone behind this door is my life…….my passion…………my forever…as my finger slowly grip the cold knob, twisted and slowly pull the door opened. A loud torturous scream echoed through my body……. and said
“Kuya naghubo man ka pagilis pud uy kai mangaon nata”
He opens his eyes and saw his younger brother taking pictures at him.
“Kuya, I’ll upload this to multiply.com so that all our friends can see!” said the little brat.
The moment his younger brother turned around to go down for supper, his hand had already grabbed the phone. Both brothers tried to pull the phone off each other’s gripping hands until such time that he realized that it was just a 5110 model from Nokia.
To a shock, he let go of the phone catapulting his brother downstairs. To his relief, the little rascal just stood up and laughed so hard saying, “Ha-ha! You forgot that I don’t have a camera phone you idiot!”
Both siblings were laughing their hearts out when a knock on their living door silencing the brothers’ laughter. A young woman was behind the door, she was supposed to give cookies that her grandma baked but she ran like hell when the door opened. The girl’s cheeks were so blushed after seeing a naked guy answering the door.
While running from the house a big bus hit her head on while she was crossing the street still running like hell. She woke up and found herself in hell having Satan greet her on her arrival. The girl wondered on her thoughts, “Why am I sent to hell?”
The Devil voluntarily answered the question without hearing her verbally asking, “Because you were a sinner my dear, the last sin you did was lusting on that naked guy who answered the door before you died.”
Her cheeks went blushing again after remembering the incident. Satan escorted her to her room in hell where she would stay. To her surprise hell had air-conditioning, escalators, elevators, surround sound system playing Bossa Nova music.
She wondered again in her mind, “I this really hell?”
Again Satan voluntarily answered, “Yes dear, you are in hell, and this is your room here, you have a roommate she will be with you in a while, I asked her some errands earlier. She’s an engineer in charge of our ventilation system”
The girls entered her room and it was like a 5-star hotel room, even better. Once inside, Satan answered a phone call, the girl, so curious, eavesdropped on the conversation.
“Hello, the devil here!”, Satan answered.
“Bro! this is Mike” a minute voice from the cellular phone was overheard.
“Michael? THE St. Michael?”, asked the Devil.
“Yup! My Boss told me that you’ve been reconstructing hell. He told me that it looks like a ‘super mall/hotel’ now.” Said Mike.
“Uhhm, and why would that be a concern?” asked Satan.
“BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU JUST DID” an echoing voice from an extension line interrupted, obviously from God (duh!).
“Oh hello, God, how nice to hear from You, why’d you always want to compete with me?” Asked Satan, sarcastically…
“Enough chit chat Satan, Turn hell back to Normal at once or I’ll…”
“You’ll what?” Satan eagerly asked…
“I’ll sue you for not following the agreement on the balance between good and evil. If all people on earth know that hell is now comfortable, they would live their life in sin!” said God.
“Well, ‘God’, hell was too hot for me, so I asked my engineers here to build an air-conditioning system, and while their at it, make it a more luxurious place. I don’t want the old hell anymore. So do as you please. If you want to sue me then bring it on!” Explained Satan.
“Very well, see you tomorrow in Court. I’ll bring my finest lawyers!” Said God, confidently.
“Ha-ha! I don’t think there are any good Lawyers up there!” answered Satan, with confident giggles.
The girl, forgotten by all, sits forlornly on the bed. Dismayed, confused, and feeling utterly alone, she falls into a trance.
Hours after, she snaps out of her trance, and finds herself in a pitch dark room. Gone was the 5-star accommodations. Even the ventilation was gone, and the girl suffocated on the seemingly non-existent air. Gasping and choking, she crawls, one arm stretched in front of her – searching, hoping - for a way out. She see’s light.. a pinprick.. and moves toward it, her heart filling with hope. Slowly, she gets nearer and nearer; and the light appears bigger and brighter, and she is filled with an ecstasy such as she has never felt before. She thinks, “So this is God…” and feels a moment of rapture so intense that tears stream down her face… and then she falls over the edge, into darkness – everlasting darkness – once again.
… she snaps out of her trance, and finds herself in a pitch dark room …
As the room was filled with darkness, there was no sight of hope in reaching her only chance of everlasting peace and love. She held her arms around her and began to ponder upon lines and phrases that her love once imparted. It started as:
The Gamble
She was so beautiful, I was just me,
We walked in the garden, with such sights to see.
I gave her a look, she gave me a sigh,
I knew how she felt, it showed in her eyes.
She wanted me more, than I could believe,
I needed her more, than she could conceive.
I glanced at her once, she looked at me twice,
I gave her my hand, a touch would suffice.
I did feel her warmth, as I held her near,
She saw my passion, she felt my cheer.
Though I was trembling, I kissed her soft lips,
I was playing my cards, and I bet all my chips.
Though I was gambling, I needed this chance,
To taste what I'm missing, to have my last dance.
I want just to love her, and her just the same,
Though it is not real, I'm tired of these games.
I was very close, to filling my void,
But I blew the chance, my passion destroyed,
Because of the pain, I felt in my mind,
That comes from a woman, or one of her kind.
So now I move on, I lost out this time,
But someday that woman, will be only mine.
Tears tracked her soft rosy cheeks, tears that felt like snow, tears that fell like a waterfall
from Toledo. But none of it does matter, since the light started to become BRIGHTER.
And brighter it had became…the light restrained her voice and no words could come out of her mouth. There was feeling flowing out, like the ebb tide moving away from shore and going to the vast ocean. A feeling in which the source could not be explained neither could it be defined. And from the bright light, there appeared a shadow.
A shadow made her seemed trapped in this labyrinth. Tears flow with its surf but the glow of happiness was felt. Left undecided with its course, she went outside for a walk and tried searching for lost answers.
Her skin felt the prick of the Florida heat and hear the inviting tides of the ocean. “Could I hear the answers from this solitude?” she said to herself.
Lost in the trance of her solitary thoughts…
Her thoughts, which she thought were her own, propelled her to move towards the ocean. Someone or something was telling her to touch the cool water . . . and so she did --- but she regretted it . . .because the moment she felt the waves, a strange feeling enwrapped her. She felt so cold – a chilling and goose bumping coldness – and then she realized why.
The beautiful ocean turned into an 18th century cemetery, and the sandy shore became a crater filled with fresh cadavers. Panic and fear enveloped her. She tried to run – to escape – but she couldn’t. Her feet were glued to the ground, entangled by the century-old roots and vines – how can she get away from this hideous place?
She became even more terrified when floating white “objects” started to approach and encircle her.
She shut her eyes closed and shouted ------------------
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Yuck! Gross! Direk, cut please! Can we have a Take 2?
The vines are so itchy and it's scratching my new stockings! Gosh! Can we have fake vines and roots here instead of real plants?"
And the director says, "OK! Cut! Take a break everyone! Be back after 30 mins."
So the props men approached her to replace the vines and roots but....
But she seems to be moving to obstruct the props men. The props men who seems anxious asked where she is going yet no words came out from her mouth… she didn’t utter a thing… then slowly went back to her spot. Her face looks so gloomy and bland. Her stillness bents her aloof from the rest of the lousy-mannered individuals. The inner self is in a throng of questions. The whys are countless, hows are enormous., whens keep on haunting her mind, whats are immeasurable and the whos always bothers her stillness. Then Suddenly…
Then Suddenly… She asked everyone, “Do You Really Want To Know?”
“Do Your Really Want to Know?” she kept on repeating.
“Know what?” asked the director.
With a glee in her face, she suddenly sang to the tune of:
“Do you really want to know what’s in a bag of NIPS?
What goes on before they touch my lips?
It makes a rainbow (chocolate nips)
A choco rainbow (chocolate nips)
And then they color all the flowers and they paint the trees…”
Before she could continue, she was interrupted by her co-star, Mr. Libido.
“Stop!!!” he said.
“I didn’t know you can sing… Can you sing Total Eclipse From the Heart with me?”
She replied…“I’m sorry, I never heard of that song. You got any lyrics with you?”
“I think I have it…” Libido said, searching his pockets.
After sitting down together, the director asks her “So you could sing. Tell me, if ever you studied in a musical school, who was your teacher?”
“Fenix, Kevin Fenix. He’s from Ireland and many members of his family were musicians,” she replied as she looks at her co-star struggling to find the lyrics she asked for.
“Damn! It’s not with me! I’ll just sing it to you instead. Is this fine with you?” Libido asked…
“Get it on!” she answered, reaching her pack of cigarette.
Holding his abs, he started singing with a great enthusiasm, “Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming around. Turnaround, every now and then I get a little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears…”
This time he started dancing. Doing his undying funny stunts, he sings again.
“Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by. Turn around, every now and then I get a little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes. Turn around bright eyes, every now and then I fall apart. Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and then I fall apart…”
He continuously sings at the top of his lungs, his face turned tomato red, trying with all his might to bring out the highest pitch possible.
Then suddenly, “Pffffrrrrblurrpfffrt!.............pfffrrrrblurrrptttrt!...... pffroot!.. pfroot!”
The crew stopped the moment they heard that unusual sound, grabbing anything to cover their noses, forcing themselves not to laugh.
Mr. Libido went out a timid laugh as everybody stared at him. Seconds later, they cackled in unison. They laughed hard, they’ve gone wild, others mimicking Mr. Libido’s moves just right before he let out an explosion. They laughed, and laughed and laughed… Their merrymaking seemed endless.
Few meters away, two men in a speeding motorcycle snatched their attentions. They froze. Panicked…..watching in terror as the men with guns in their hands were coming their way.
“Ratatatatatatatatatatatattttttt!!! Ratatatatatatatatatatatattttt!!! Ratatatatatatatatatatatattttt!!!”
A deafening silence covered the entire area as the men rushed away from the scene. There. Rested in the ground were the helpless bodies of the whole crew. All dead.
An hour later, the area was filled with media, Police cars and emergency response vehicles. Police tape where in the scene to prevent the crowd from spoiling the evidences. A team of CSI arrived at the crime scene. Gil Grissom -- wearing sunglasses, his usual CSI work jacket, and latex gloves. Also in a CSI work jacket and donning the latex gloves, Didder Dee, as Catherine Willows, crouches with a camera. Didder's taking a photo of the murder victims directly in front of them. Numbered markers are positioned at points of evidence: shrapnel of bullets, pieces of equipment nearby and positioning of the dead bodies.
"Hmmm...It seems this is the work of a vigilante" said Grissom while inspecting the bullet wound from a dead girl. “Possible...some of our witnesses says that the suspects are riding in a Yamaha motorcycle.” Willows added.
"Yo! Look what I found!" shouted Warrick Brown crouching from a darker part of the scene snapping photos. Grissom walks towards Brown.
"What is it?" ask Grissom looking at the object.
"Looks like a test tube with a blue liquid in it." answered Brown while picking it up.
"Look! more of this blue liquid are spilled everywhere in the area" said Brown.
" Put that in the bag and bring it to the laboratory for more examination. " commanded Grissom.
Suddenly, they heard people screaming. Police where firing crazy with their gun.
"What the f!@#k is going on?!" ask Brown in a frantic tone.
"I don't know! C'mon let's go!!" shouted Grissom.
And at that precise moment of his dream, a loud crash outside his room woke up Drake. He was having unusual dreams lately, a kaleidoscopic fusion of images, sounds, memories, and stories that seemed to be set in the surreal landscape of a Salvador Dali painting. Sometimes though, it had a haunting quality, almost as if they were quasi-messages that were trying to tell him something. But what?
Must be just stress, he muttered. He had recently transferred to New York City from relatively laid back Nebraska and was getting a high-paying (albeit high-pressure) job in Wall Street. He had broken up with his girlfriend who opted to stay behind – he still grimaced remembering that tearful scene in the airport – but sometimes, it is just the case that people move on. C’est la vie.
He massaged his aching temples and flicked on his bedside lamp. Just then, he heard a clatter in the kitchen outside his room. He realized that something woke him up – yes, a loud sound, like something metallic hitting the floor. But who, or what, was making the noise?
Drake got up to open his bedroom door.
Drake hesitated opening his bedroom door. He didn’t know what was on the other side, making that weird metallic noise. Drake pinched himself on his right arm to make sure he was awake and realized that he really was after hearing himself grunt in pain. Reassured that he wasn’t dreaming anymore, he twisted the door knob and slowly opened it.
Drake found himself standing in front of a big-ass clitoris and when I mean ‘big-ass’, I mean steroid-taking-porn-star size. He stood there, half-amazed, half-confused. What in the world is a humungous clitoris doing in my house?!? He noticed that the clitoris had been pierced through and that the weird metallic noise was actually coming from the ball bearing hitting the floor because of the clitoris’ erratic throbbing.
“You look surprised.” Drake turned around searching for the source of the voice he had just heard.
“Who is that?” he asked. “Is that you Macho Man?”
“Macho Man?!? It’s me! The clit, asshole!” the giant appendage responded. “I hate it when people associate my voice with Macho Man.”
“Okay… a giant clit who sounds like a wrestler. Now, I’ve seen everything.” Drake told himself.
“No, you haven’t. Wait until you meet my cousins. Twins. D-sized boobs with dog-faced nipples.” touchéd the clit.
Drake still couldn’t believe what he was seeing and hearing. I really should cut down on the cinnamon apple weed.
All of a sudden, something started growing out on the front of the clit. An appendage on an appendage? Now this is starting to get fucking weird! Drake noticed that what was growing was also starting to form a face. Slowly, the face’s features became clearer and clearer. Drake squinted his eyes, excited but at the same time, afraid of whose face it would turn out to be.
“Tito?!?” Drake shouted.
What in the world is Tito’s face doing on a clit? “Hiya, Drake! It’s actually Clito” the thing greeted while bobbing up and down in rhythmic unison with the clit’s throbbing.
And that was when Drake’s eyes got nearly blinded by the light of the shining armor. Yes, the thing dangling in the thing is actually an armor that is shining so bright that made the eyes so big and wide.
And Drake said, “Mama, I have not seen an armor so shining like that one dangling attached on a thing”.
Then Mama said, “Wake up you little Drako, you are just dreaming. Stop staring my adam’s apple with your eyes closed.”
So there you go. The “Clit” is actually the adams apple of Drake’s Mom. After realizing everything, Drake tried to catch the quick brown fox that jumped over the lazy dogs. But wait, there’s more…continue reading and you’ll get an extra wasted second. So that is why the quick brown jumps over the lazy fox dog. And they live happily ever after.
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